By Ruby Churchill
Photo by Bobby Rutledge
Simpson dorms make quite an impression.
Simpson dorms—the hallowed halls of higher learning. They may not be a five-star hotel, but they could be worse. In fact, compared to some places they’re practically palatial.
The first thing you’ll notice when you enter your Simpson room is the charming ambiance of vintage. The walls are adorned with a unique blend of stains. They tell stories of late-night snacks and questionable choices. While the bed creaks like a haunted house, it only adds to the charm.
As you settle in, remember not to take anything out of your room. Those scratched, mismatched furniture pieces are part of the family now. Make yourself at home. Enjoy your new lifestyle of navigating around a sink that’s too small to wash anything larger than a coffee mug.
Speaking of water, the bathroom might feature cracked tiles and hastily patched holes that could double as modern art installations. However, at least it is private. You won’t find yourself elbow-to-elbow with an entire floor of your classmates. With the option of sharing a bathroom with just one or a few other roommates, it’s practically a luxury. Just remember to inhale deeply for a free dose of penicillin from the black mold under the sink. Fear not, for Brian Jobson (black mold cleaner extraordinaire) and maintenance will take care of it.
Let’s not forget the laundry situation. With an insufficient number of washers and dryers, doing laundry can feel like preparing for a triathlon. Just think of it as an exercise in patience as you plan out your wash days.
Remember not to get too disheartened. The upperclassmen dorms come with huge bathrooms. The dorms are near most places around campus, so you won’t have to walk far. The closets offer decent space. You also get to pick your roommate. There are many benefits of Simpson’s dorms.
Paul Davis, Conference Services Manager, stated that improvements could be on the way.
“We would love to renovate the dorms with new flooring, fresh paint, window coverings, countertops, fixtures, and showers. Updated furniture is definitely on our list once we find room in the budget for it,” Davis said via email.
He added that there are ways students can be good stewards of the buildings.
“Students can take care of the dorms by keeping their rooms clean and limiting extra stress on the plumbing by only flushing toilet paper. The HVAC systems are set to a comfortable range so closing windows, doors and turning off the fan setting can prolong the life span of the very expensive systems,” Davis said.
According to Senior Timea Horvath, quality is something of a lottery.
“I think it really depends on the dorms because last year I lived in Cooper 3rd floor and that one was just recently renovated so it was really nice. The floors were brand new. So, it really depends,” Horvath said.
If you go to Simpson, you mostly likely live in the dorms. Simpson has an on-campus housing requirement. It is the ultimate test of your love for communal living. By accepting your admission, you’ve essentially signed up for an extended stay at the resort. The only amenities are questionable plumbing and roommate negotiations.
You might miss the joys of home-cooked meals and personal space. You’ll also gain invaluable skills in diplomacy, like how to resolve a dispute over whose turn it is to clean the fridge.
Of course, you could be one of the lucky few who can secure an exemption. You may be living at home within 35 miles of campus. You may be married (congrats!). You may also simply be 24 years old.
This requirement has been the topic of many conversations. Most recognize that there are both positives and negatives to it.
“On the one hand it’s good because it creates a community, and you see people around. It’s not like you just go to classes and then leave, you live your life here and you get to hang out with people pretty much all day,” Horvath said.
That being said, requiring almost everyone to live on campus can create issues with space.
“It’s also really hard too. There are some negatives because we are growing so much and we are not adding any new dorm spaces. I’ve heard that some of the football players are living in rooms that used to be for two people and they just added a third bed,” Horvath said.
In the grand tapestry of college life, Simpson dorms are a vibrant patch filled with character. They’re a little rough around the edges, but so is the college experience. Embrace the adventure. Make friends over shared grievances. Most of all, enjoy living in the dorms. You’ll have some wild stories to tell long after you’ve moved on to greener pastures.
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